Time is passing by faster and faster...it seems like i blog here soo much, but its already been five days and so much has happened. I can't believe that the end of summer is only 11 days away...well, i guess its not as depressing to think that summer's ending, becuase i'm starting university as well.i'm not really that scared cuz i'll only be goign for a week and then coming back the first weekend cuz my uncle and aunt from cali are coming! =) mann..gotta clean the house before i go..i know that i won't be ready at all..packing-wise..its all gonan be last minute..haha..way to go eunice =P if i learned anythign at ward, it was NOT TO PROCRASTINATE and hopefully i won't THAT much in university--because of that at ward i lost two and a half summers going to summmer school when i could have gottena JOB!!! gonna ace first year right? i WILL TRY to try hard though..just cause so many peopel have dropped out/kicked out of their programs whcih is really sad cuz it wastes a year of education that you're PAYING 15grand for..i'm really glad that my family has given me so much support, even though my mom's going to florida on a busniess trip a couple weekds after and bringing my aunt to watch my sister and gramma..i feel liek i wanna be both places

anyhooos, softball season is officially OVER for dot-com! we had a fun season..some bad games and some really good ones...we played our last 3 games this weekend and got killed by the O's, 49-3!!!!! haha our proud loss which everyone knows about now, but it was fun anwyay...then we played ravens and won, and then lost to Dunamis on sunday....what an awesoem team to end our season with! Seeing all their team spirit was so encouraging and just made the game so much more fun =) can't wait till next year..might not play for jaffray....oh well.

sunday, went to gen's baptism..CONGRATS!! After that NAT drove to oriole...ackk!! scariest 20 minutes of my life..after the other 5 minutes that NAT drove me home!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! my heart was pounding the whole way..hahah oh well..then after the duni game, went to watch BASIC play their last game...then went to the Waterloo CCF bbq. oh yeah, and the Laurier CCF bbq was the day before, one street down.hehe..but yeah..they were both fun!!! Met more ppl from laurier, and saw some familiar faces...there are so few chinese peopel, and makes the ccf really closeknit..i met someone in my soc class! yay!! the waterloo CCF was bigger, and fun as well, cuz i wana go to loo' ccf too if i get a chance. hahaha me and andrew jumped on eliot's neighbor's trampoline!! my first time on a real trampoline. SOO FUNN!! well, we rang the doorbell and no one was home..they were on vacation or somethign...hehhehee..wow i wanna get one now! but andrew kept making me fall..meanie =P

so the other night (tues) a bunch of frosh and 2nd years and some "older ones" went to Swiss Chalet for dinner, just to hang out..it was great..went to my house after to watch a movie but ended up talkign for an hour..just 5 of us sharing about stuff, and it was really cool cuz we'll see each otehr at church, but never eally have the chance to TALK talk..like in a small group setting, so it was cool. after that we watched MAN OF THE HOUSE which SUCKEDDDD its' the stupidest movie ever..some funny "dumb-blonde" moments, but thats it. pretty boring until the last 10 minutes..nah that was boring too..jsut a little predictable. now i wanna watch GUESS WHO. hmm, anyway..gonna go shopping with my sis today cuz i got a friends and family thing for foot locker 30% off muahhhaa finally gonna get the pumas. yay..

o.O I think i'm going insane. its my third day in a row going shopping!! YESSSSSSS!!! what a week..eaton's on wed with nat, eaton's on thurs with nat and gen, stc on friday with hannah. gotta keep the rest for school!! after getting dy and janzie's birthday presents..dats it! not like shopping isn't fun..its TOO fun and i'm getting addicted..at lesat this weekend there won't be time for that at all

today was the huge tornado, and it was soo freaky! me and hannah were standing inside a bus stop, and it was still getting flooded! so then softbal practice and alethia bbq were cancelled, but a few of us showed up. the best game to kill the rainy day? CRANIUM!!! made mel go home and her her game, then we played in dan's office..it was almost the most fun i've ever had at an alethia program in a while =)

but anyway..dot com has TWO games TODAY @GOLDHAWK park..wish us luck!

finally went shopping today! went to volunteer in the morning..11 kids today..so it was pretty crazy..always a screaming crying two-year old with a crayon in his mouth or a cup of spilled milk or a *shudders* dirty diaper. what fun! =)it really is though...so then went to eaton's centre to visit nat at work, then we shopped around for a bit! hahha and silly little nat leaves our bag of MRS. FIELDS COOKIES in artizia!! ahhhhh1! we both thought she had it in her bag the whole time, so we're about to leave for second cup when she realized it was still in aritzia. so we went back..and funny, it was still there...cuz she unknowingly hid it undera pile of..WIFEBEATERS. *GOD REALLY DOES LOVE US NAT! * lol..

soo..and update on the situation...

whatever

it's all in your hands, God...

Yesterday was alright...went to Sunday School and learned about..uhh..(what did dan talk about?)..oh yeah.spiritual warfare. It was pretty cool. Makes you think about what makes people do the things they do, but what makes us different is that we can fight it. Or we have the will to through HIM...the bible is our "filter" through life and our actions..really made me think! Pretty cool five minute lesson. =) AFter that we went to chinese service cuz eng was cancelled...pretty funny sermon. The speaker had so many emotions on his face while giving the sermon..like his eyes popped out at you and looked pertty scary ahhah...like o.O

After that, went to get pizza with my mom..so random..she felt like eating pizza on saturday night, so we went to PizzaPizza. It was goood. We had the new Bacon Chicken Mushroom Melt which has like a bazillion toppings including sauteed onions..MMMmmMM...so yeah just kinda got to talk to my mom about stuff..she's been asking me alot about "the future" lately, like she just realized i'm growing up. Especially this summer, i feel like i can finally have a relationship with my mom which is good. We haven't fought even once this summer i think...which is amazing compared to before, and after 18 years she actually cares to ask about what's going on in my life. My summer has been happy-ish. After that, went to softball practice with Awakening, and it was sorta raining but still fun! softball is always fun...and i'm gonna play everyday this week! dot-com is having practice every single day..@Goldhawk park or Warden park or somewhere closer to me *pleassee* but oh well. its still fun! After that, drove to bev glen and watched Basic's game. they won! hehe...and later THE WAY came for their game so got to see some people. hmm then went home for dinner and had t-bone steak..my mommy made it! so i HAD to go home. and hannah was back..i missed her! *sniffs* I love hannah..we've finally grown up and i'm gonna miss her...=(

then, after eating soo much i felt bloated yes GROSS...i waited a while and then did the craziest thing ever..went to get ICECREAM with alison!!!! geess i was soooo full haahabut we ended up getting this "nutty paws" flavour which looked GROSS!!! not like "make you wanna puke" gros, but dirty gross!! haahhah oh man shoulda taken a picture it actually looked like MUD..sand when its raining and then theres "paws" which are huge chunks of chocolate with nuts in them. but it was really good! and alison got cookies and cream hahaa..oh well. half price ice cream @ LICKS! it was 1.50 for double scoop and pretty big scooops. eheheh..anywyas..i am slowly gaining back all the weight i lost this summer lol..oh well! thats nothing compared to the freshmen FIFTEEN. which won't happen. lol..anyway..gonna go eat some lasagna chicken thing we got for free..some guy at LICKS gave it to us cuz they were closing soon..hehe. =) NO HE WASN'T HOT!!! he was sorta nerdy-looking but nice. and the guy who served us icecream looked like he was 12...haha alison kept laughing at him for some reason. poor kid. lol
anwyay
gonna go to Scarborough town centre w/dY now! we're going shopping..making her birthday wish list. what a spoiled child!! lol..just kidding dy. =)

Had fun at frosh connexions today.

Met Sarah, Justin, Alex, Jon, Howard and some other frosh too from Laurier.

Met some people from Mac, Queens, Western, and froshies like me.

Had free BBQ and ate alot. cuz it was free...*smiles*

Found out something that made me sad..and then i decided to read the Bible: I Cor 13...then i remembered that Char/Cat/Sharon got me this New Testament commentary thing that's as thick as a Physics 121 textbook. So i read it and it helped. The last few verses of the chapter showed me what i haven't been doing. It also encouraged me. The kinda love God shows us is unconditional. It's the kind that we all try to live by and show to others but we're human and definitely not perfect---not even close to being able to love like God loves us. But we can try...

These are some exerpts from the I Cor commentary:

13:4 Because love is so important among the believers, Paul described that love in more detail. How does such love look when lived out in the lives of believers? first of all, love is patient, the opposite of being short-tempered. Such love bears with certain annoyances or inconveniences without complaint. It does not lose its temper when provoked. It steadily perseveres.

13:5...Love does not demand its own way.Love looks out for others, seeks their best interests, willingly gives up its own for the sake of another...Love is not irritable, meaning easily angered or touchy...they will not let themselves be easily provoked over disagreements, but they will be able to always respond in a loving manner...Love keeps no record of when it has been wronged. When mistakes are made, love overlooks them and allows believers to continue to serve with the gifts God has given them.

13:7 Paul listed four positive attributes of love. Love never gives up, but willingly protects others. The word in Greek means "cover" or "hide by covering". This does not refer to hiding hurtful sin but to protecting someone from embarrassment, gossip, or any other such harm...Love never loses faith. It is willing to think the best of others. It does not mean that believers must be gullible, trusting everyone; instead, it means that they are willing to think the best as opposed to the worst of others. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. With real love, believers can deal with conflict lovingly. When everyone willingly thinks the best of everyone else, people are freed to be honest and open. Love is always hopeful. Believers who love look forward, not backward. They seek for growth and maturity in the church, knowing that God is working in every person. Love endures through every circumstance. Believers who love are active and stadfast in their faith. they hold on, no matter what difficulties they face. Hardship and pain do not stop love. When believers persevere, they face suffering within the body. They face persecution. They hang on when the going gets tough. They strive to save their marriages despite disappointment, to continue to trust God despite setbacks, and to continue to serve God despite fear or sorrow. when beleivers truly persevere, nothing can stop them.

What happens when you lose a best friend for a while?

You start blogging everyday because talking to no one is the only thing better than not talking to them. does that make any sense? Oh well, who cares...i can't say this is depressing..but i don't know how to feel anymore..if i don't think about it, or see him, i'm FINE. but then...whenever i try to talk, i feel misunderstood...i guess, we both are. and its mostly my fault, but i don't know how much longer i can take this. It's become like an obsession that i have to overcome..i can't live everyday KNOWING that things won't be the same for a long time, which is the reason for those teary nights. *sigh* I dont' even feel liek i can be me anymore..liek my bubble has popped and suddenly what i thought life was.isn't...reality is that people let you down sometimes you're just stuck cuz no one can save you, not even yourself. This is one of those times. I used to think I could always be happy, no matter what crappy thing happened. But for once i can't be happy anymore...everything i've looked forward to might as well not happen. Theres no point in talking about it again, it'll only make it hurt more. Even when i move away, I'll still be thinking of how we would be if this never happened...every day...love hurts..a LOT.

Waiting for you...

Jars of Clay - World's Apart

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

...So steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart



on another note...
Nat Drove Me Home TODAY!!!Thankfully Nadine drove most of the way to her house. Thankfully it was only the distance of two main highway exits but on city streets. *phew* scariest 5 minutes of my life. Held onto my seatbelt for dear life and forced myself to stay awake for both of our safety. No way was I falling asleep even though it was 11:30 and my eyes could barely stay open. AHHHHHHHHH!! my first time in her car and her first time driving pretty much anywhere by 'herself' hahaa..and she misses a stop sign!! by the time i yelled STOP SIGN the girl might as well have been in the middle of the four-way stop. and this is what she has to say about it: "oh well, no police car" omigosh!!!! haha..reminds me of my own BAD expericne with stop signs..uhhh which no one needs to know about except those who know.

on even another note...
TODAY was soo eventful i can barely tell it all. First went to volunteer at Daycare, and today we took a walk to the park. 10 two-year olds and a flock of pigeons. imagine what fun!! hehee...but they ARE adorable..crazy loud and incredibly unware that they mess up EVERYTHING..makes them so lovable even though u wanna yell at them soemtimes. After that, took the streetcar to the beach, including my episode of getting lost on the way and walking around downtown for a while till i found Queen Street again. worst sense of direction ever...pretty scary getting lost downtown, cuz the area wwas VERY VERy "GHETTO". However, finding everyone at the beach was fun..played volleyball, softball, tanned a bit, built stuff in teh sand...(castle taht never got finished--girl getting eaten by shark--big hole--and turtle!) and barbequed the whole time!! for 3.50 we got a nice big burger, hot dog, grilled corn and drinks..its alwasy better with more people!! After the beach I met up with Nat and went to the Concert of Prayer for the Underpriveledged "For they shall be fed" or something..yeah..it was alright..=) worship was AWESOME cuz it was led by Gord. hehe..wow God really spoke to those people there though! the speakers were really into passionate about what they talked abuot..spent some time praying for the poor, the world, leaders, etc. ..
anyway..
good night for now!
It's 1pm!

House crashing...nice as long as its not mine!! teehee

I have just been informed of a house-crashing party on aug 20th @an unnamed friend's house..yeahhh!!! Since it's LCCF people, it should be fun and will be happening all year..is that a good or bad thing? Anyways, this saturday is Frosh Connexions @TCMC where THE FROSH get to meet their future friends and mentors of the CCF's. i'm excited!! hopefully they'll be more laurier people showing up...and theres free BBQ afterwards which means i HAVE to go...but FRANK GRIMES look-alike is leaving!!! *sniffs* yess david i will miss you.MAYBE...have fun in B.C and don't party too much or else i will worry!! haha..you'll hear more about that in the letter!!

Hmm...played softball today again with Ed, Tim, Christian, Sull, JC, John, and GINIA!! hahahaa..soo jokes...she thinks she can't play but she really can..next tmie i'm whipping the ball atyou hahaha.anyways, we had our own version of "home-run-derby" which was really cheap and easy cuz i scored 4 and 10 outs....but then i realized that i can pitch!! and we played actual baseball, not softball..which is cool..it always looked harder but its alot easier especially with catching the baseball..maybe i'll try that next year. oh man..dunno if i can do it..so hardcore. Softball is so fun!! i wanna play everyday now..even though my bruises still hurt and knees can't really bend..i think its actually keeping me in shape!! which is surprising seeing its summer and ppl usually GAIN weight.oh well. university will handle that...*shudders* but i dont' wannnnaa!!! *cries* the only solution to this is to eat dinner with Alison and Tim Waterloo whenever i can and take advantage of Tim's awesome healthy cooking =) woohoo!! and maybe try some of those Waterloo handbook recipiess for fun..haha those will KILL you for SURE.

*yawns* anyway..time to sleep for now, gotta wake up earlly tomorrow and go to volunteer..whenever i sleep in i get more tired..its weird! anyway..gonna take care of the babies tomorrow and just play with them and stuff..nothing much they can do but they're oh-so-cute!!!! I'm slowly getting used to baby slobber getting on my clothes...*bleck* like on sunday when this kid was crying for the whole hour and a half..on and off..i had to keep pressing this button on a toy that made this barking noise and she woudl stop crying and say "woh woh" for "dog" in chinese..sortof. and then she'd start all over again until i gave her food. then she spit it on me..*sigh*

Jaci Valesquez - Unspoken

He has the answers
He hears your prayers
Turn every corner
And you'll find Him there

He is there, use your voice
Reach for Him, make a choice
None of us are alone
God heals us when we're broken
Don't leave your heart unspoken

WEDDING CRASHERS = $8 + so jokes + grossifying humour! so friday night, after scrim w/Zoo Cru and some Ultimate Frisbee with Alethia, we were all hungry so off to Wendys/Tims we went. after that, we had nothing to do, so some insane person said 'lets watch Wedding Crashers!' so we went..it was a HIlarious movie..the kind i would never ever let my mom know i watched or tell her it sucked so she doesn't go watch it...*shudders* gave me the creeeps! but yeah..some funny parts, i'm glad it wasn't entirely stupid like Eurotrip...[loving the CRAZY gramma]

movies to see by the end of the summer: Madagascar, Batman, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

So i spent sunday night..praying..and crying..which hasn't happened in a while. Yes its so random, but I finally told him something i've been feeling, i guess from the beginning of the summer. But i didn't expect him to take it that way...its hard enough not being able to talk to him about it, when i was finally able to say what i felt..becuase i usually don't. i usually just keep all my feelings inside, and its hurt me in the past, but there are so few people i can really trust now..anyway..the ones who do know...thanks for the advice and the listening ear. I've realized a few things: You can't help feeling a certain way, and even hurting people because of it, but its what you do to act on it that matters...and a friend told me..theres a reason all of this happened and maybe God will show me why in his own way...
to you: i'm sorry...i don't know what else to say but i love you and i'm sorry for hurting u like this

Second post in TWO DAYS. WOW. This means that I have become either extremely intellectual and responsible, or extremely bored out of my mind, and it is probably the latter. also because i'm talking liek this..which makes me think i've been reading too much to try and make myself go to sleep. But then, the book i'm reading (Sloppy Firsts) is getting pretty interesting..its sort of disturbing, but so true..feels like i'm stepping into 'the REAL WORLD' and like..all the kinds of teen dramas you can ever imagine..you're THERE..its pretty sad as well, because even my sister, who's 14, would be just as surprised with it then i am, but i'm starting to sound confusing..if you ever do get curious and read it you'll see what i'm talking about. anyways..i'm starting to babble! i'm jsut taht bored. or maybe not..hehe...my sister and i got a puzzle today! its THE disney one, with allt he characters floating in the sky like stars..some of them are kinda faded like clouds. if you visit TIE-GU *PACIFIC/fob-central* alot you'll know which one..hhahaha or if you're like eric mok and only go there to look in the pink, chinese-character stationary and cute stuff packed stores...=) but i hafta admit puzzles are pretty fun!! me and hannah finished the edges..of our 2000 piece just tonight! they're also very ADDICTIVE...i feel like going to work on it now. but if i dont' sleep soon i'm gonan get sick. again. it already feels like a cold is coming which isn't good!! my house is freezing and i'm wearing pants pjs and a sweater.eeekkk..and its SUMMER!! well, at least theres AC..which is better than no AC.

MISSED THE BEACH yesterday..boourns!!!! At least I got to see Pao before he went back home to 'ohh-la-la' the place that is SO MUCH BETTER than here--land of fun and sun--CALIFORNIA!! its been 3 years since we last saw him, but not much has changed..still the same guy except nerdier looking!! and he looks like a california boy..hahaha..the boy is going to UCLA!!! i will miss him...=P
hmm..just popped into my head something that happened yesterday..as we were on the way driving back from 'LOO, there was this huge black smoke coming towards us but a little off the 401..we saw all tehse flashing lights on teh other side of the highway, where there were like 2 or 3 cars coming through..and then jam packed 401 all the way till where they closed it. When we got to the airport to see some of her friends off, we foudn out about the plane skidding and crashing into the gully. It's a miracle that all 309 people survived..i remember going into the airport adn seeing allt hese medical trucks and stuff, and just thinking about the families of the peopel on the plane who were waiting in the arrivals gate which was right below us. Just being there I was again reminded of how chaotic the world is..how you can never really take anything for granted becasue it can be taken away in a second. how imperfect we are..and then how God loves us anyhow. it's amazing how he saved those people on the plane..even though it burst into flames and was completely destroyed...

okay..i have just figured out what to talk about for dot-com devos on SATURDAY!! YESSS!!! what a cool thing. while blogging too...got two things done at once...

anyways, TODAY was volunteering day #1. went downtown to dundas+parliament..which reminded me of amazing race. in teh middle of what many peopel woudl call a very 'ghetto' neighborhood, theres this nice government children centre called Central Neighborhood House, and theres camps there and a daycare, and it serves as a community centre for the entire area as well. the kids were adorable..mostly helping out with the babies and toddlers, all of which are not diaper trained!! but still the CUTEST kids ever..they are just sweet. not to mention i've always loved babies. which makes it even more fun...hmm i always ask myself why i didn't go into ECE..oh well.

GEN if you read this by tomorrow, or Tonight..just reminding you to bring the PINK sweater!!
CHRIS, WHEN you read this...i miss you! haha after camp we have two whole weeks to hang out..WOW! a whole two weeks! thats 14 days and 336 hours and 20160 minutes.

Campus tour=pretty boring.

campus tour @laurier=very boring if it wasn't for kevin who tagged along for one hour. at least we got some exercise from walking around the entire campus a few times, which mind you didn't take that long since laurier is the tiniest thing ever! but according to kevin, it's BEA-utiful (compared to waterloo). so basically today was going on a tour of the little LAURIER my future home away from home. it actually wasn't THAT boring..the super-heat wave outside didn't really bug us much...every 2 minutes would be another air conditioned athletic complex, academic building, or residence!! RESIDENCES HAVE AC!! muhhahaha..and they're pretty big and spacious..whcih wont matter, seeing as we won't spend that much time in our rooms probably. who can resist the huge soccer field and tennis courts right behind willison hall? not to mention the newly renovated gym. ahhh!!! *drools* can't wait! hoepfully there will be time for all of this and more..meaning visits to wilfs and turret, which are the on-campus clubs and where i'm hoping to snag a job...shh!! but dont tell my mom. lol....in conclusion, the best part about laurier is the dining hall, FFCo. MARCHE STYLE!!! its soo nice. hmm anyway, so kevin is now a 'pretend' wlu-ER..in the bba program..living in willison..and now i am incredibly excited about going away for university once again....weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

hmm..what else is new? holly and caleb got married yesterday, a happy day and uber-fun night...can't wait to get marrieD!! which won't be anytime soon =( looks so fun. but there will definitely be lots of DANCING!!

[dot]COM's record is currently 3-3..which means we only have 4 games left!!! come out and show ur support at any of our next games...fans are always appreciated, seeing how we don't have many =( so sad..but anyways...softball is by far the best part about this summer. gonna play as much softball as i can before school starts
dot com's schedule:
*Sat Aug 6: .COM vs. Chariots {6pm@Beverly Glen}
*Sat Aug 20: .COM vs. Oracles {2pm@Goldhawk 1}
*Sat Aug 20: .COM vs. Ravens {4pm@Goldhawk 1}
*Sun Aug 21: .COM vs. Dunamis {2pm@Oriole Park}